“You must choose either: 1. The Indians will win at least one WS soon with this core of players (not by any nefarious or goofy means, they’ll win and you won’t remember having made this deal). In the ensuing hysteria, Cleveland elects a mayor who dresses up as Chief Wahoo, face paint and all, calls himself Chief Wahoo and ‘acts’ how he thinks Chief Wahoo would act if he came to life, saying insensitive and useless things like “Chief Wahoo promise to trade for wampum for his Cleveland tribe.” OR 2. After his playing career, LeBron gets elected mayor of Cleveland and gives you a position as one of his advisers. You must work in this role for at least two years.”
These are fairly close. The tipping point is that I get to be one of Lebron’s advisers, which would mean that I’m employed, get to know and spend time with Lebron James (and all the benefits that surely come with that) and get to influence the mayor of Cleveland with my ideas. I don’t think Lebron would be a great mayor - I’m fairly sure he’s celebrity liberal with all the hijacked moral high ground beliefs in institutional problems. This also usually means an accompanying tendency to point towards government intervention, programs, and regulation to solve perceived problems as opposed to a tendency to push for a freer society. But he’s shown signs of intelligence and wisdom in his life, and I’d get to give my input before he does something like appoint Board of Education chairmen that support Common Core or lockout a developer from bulldozing the Burke Lakefront Airport and turning it into a series of waterside apartments. I doubt he’d be a worse mayor under those conditions than some racially insensitive asshole doing rain dances while refusing to properly conjugate verbs or refer to himself in the first person. The reason it’s close is I’d have to, in two years as a mayoral adviser, do more good to the city of Cleveland than would be done by an Indians World Series win and a World Series win would do a lot of good, even if it also sent the sports media into an agonizing spiral of Native American obsession, accusations of racism, and demands on private organizations not conducive to a free world. I think I might be able to. Mayor James, might I suggest getting rid of our city income tax?