K-SCORE: 85
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Writers: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Bill Murray
Spoiler Level: Moderate
Zombieland is the greatest demonstration of Woody Harrelson’s star power that exists. Basically single-handedly he takes what could have been another mediocre zombie apocalypse story that’s only trying to be funny and turns it into something unique, hilariously sadistic, heartfelt, and fun. “I’m sensing you’re a bit of a bitch,” is going on my list of greatest lines ever. Eisenberg’s character, Columbus, is searching for profound meaning in the zombie-infested world, looking for a girl to love and a family to hold dear. Emma Stone’s character is trying to grant her twelve-year-old sister the childhood that was robbed of her by the apocalypse. Woody Harrelson’s character, Tallahassee, is attempting to find a Twinkie. It’s by far the most touching and compelling of the subplots.
This film should be bad. It starts out with a bunch of rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse that are rather dryly delivered by Eisenberg, who doesn’t quite take them seriously enough to convince you he’s an actual survivor and aren’t really funny enough to drive the comedy. They’re periodically mentioned through narration, but the film never really pulls off the sense that Columbus is telling the story to anyone or documenting the apocalypse as he sees it. The girls con artistry is only a little funny, mostly because of how Harrelson plays it, but it’s not much and it’s an obvious plot problem. Why in the world would they try to rob and steal from living people when 99.9% of everyone is dead, everything ripe for the taking? They say multiple times that everyone’s gone. Genuine living people would band together immediately. And the pacing of the film is really wonky. They spend entirely too much time goofing off in Bill Murray’s house, a scene where they smash side-of-the-road antiquities seems to last forever, the flashbacks are inserted at strange times and aren’t always relevant, one is of a piano being dropped on a zombie that Columbus has no way of knowing happened, Columbus has a fear of clowns that’s really forced in there for no reason, and the conclusion in the amusement park features some tactically unwise decisions to say the least. Plot holes, character motivation problems, character stupidity, pacing issues, and framework failures. I say again, this film should be bad.
Yet the movie is actually really great. The dynamic between the characters is so strong that you’d watch them do just about anything for almost any length of time. That they’re killing zombies only makes it more fun, and that’s the goal. So I keep watching it. I think I’ve seen if four times now. So yeah. That’s likely the best way I could say that I recommend it.