preachy

Movie: The Place Beyond the Pines

K-SCORE:  41

Director:  Derek Cianfrance

Writer:  Derek Cianfrance, Ben Coccio, Darius Marder

Starring:  Not sure.  Chris Pine?

Spoiler Level:  Total

there is no literal place beyond the pines
The Place Beyond the Pines (1) PCV.jpg

So I guess there’s like this guy who’s really good at Motocross racing and he’s got this girl that he had the sex with and they like had a baby together but like not on purpose and his girlfriend girl was like “you’ve got to take care of this child because it’s your child” and he was like “okay” but they didn’t have a lot of money so he decided to rob a bank with the power of Motocross but the bank robbing went very wrong and he and a friend of his got chased down by police and a policeman guy who becomes important later chased him down and shot him and that that policeman felt really bad because he found out he shot a guy who has a son and he has a son so that really affected him emotionally but he ended up being a pretty good policeman because there was a lot of money that other policemen could have stolen but he decided it was wrong to steal the money and his captain was like “I don’t care if you steal the money” and he was like “that’s messed up” and then I don’t really know what happened with that but the story jumps forward fifteen years and the policeman’s son has grown up and the dead Motocross bank robber’s son has also grown up and by coincidence they become drug addict friends together and get in trouble trying to purchase drugs and get arrested and the policeman is ashamed and then the Motocross son finds out that the policeman was the one who shot his father when he was a child and so he decides to shoot the policeman’s son and then the policeman chases him but the tables get turned and Motocross son is going to kill the policeman but he says he’s sorry and so Motocross steals his wallet and sees a picture of Motocross and Motocross son as a child and girlfriend girl and then he buys a Motocross bike and rides off and policeman wins some election that I forgot to mention earlier.

To be fair, I’ve never seen any of The Place Beyond the Pines personally, but my brother told me about it and I think I got the gist.  After much inquiry on the subject I determined that there is no literal place beyond the pines, but it’s, like, a metaphor.  It’s also rather boring.