K-SCORE: 39
Director: Jon Watts
Writer: Jonathan Goldstein, John Francis Daley, Jon Watts, Christopher Ford, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers
Starring: Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Jon Favreau, Marisa Tomei, Donald Glover, Robert Downey Jr., Martin Starr, Laura Harrier, and a girl apparently just named Zendaya
Spoiler Level: Minor
If the rate at which Spider-Man movies are cranked out continues like this, I’m going to have to get much faster at writing these reviews. Okiedokie. Spider-Man: Homecoming has a few faults:
Doesn’t make sense
Annoying Spider-Man
Spider-Man doesn’t help any situation he’s involved in
Spider-Man causes a ton of collateral damage
Selling next Avengers film instead of making this film good
Spider-Man doesn’t use his powers well
Too many characters with too little to do
Jon Favreau
Peter Parker fails in all of school, social life, family life, and superheroism
Afraid to do the Spider-Man things already done in previous 1100 films
Afraid to do anything different
Bad choices for villain powers, motives, and schemes
Bad choices for settings of action scenes
Weird focus on Spider-Man’s suit
Stan Lee can't hear me booing his cameos
And it does some things well:
Three funny Martin Starr lines
Okay it does one thing well. Way to go Marvel. You remain firmly in the top spot of comic book filmmakers.