K-SCORE: 36
Rapper: Ludacris
Who feels like remembering Middle School? I do! "Roll Out", the classic early jam from Ludacris will always be near and dear to me for all of the times he yells "Roll Out!" I get energized just thinking about it. Who wants to know what Kyle thought?
-Mike
Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges, I’m tragically more familiar with your acting career than your rapping career, but was happy to remember this Roll Out achievement, which is on artistic par with your brilliant contributions to Gamer and Fred Claus. I’m awarding you with a thirty-six.
You lost points, Mr. Cris, because this rap plays out like a gangster life FAQ. If you wanted to associate yourself with these behaviors, you shouldn’t have asked questions about how all of this is done. Just use the internet to find out where to get “that platinum chain with them diamonds in it.” Similarly, a Mercedes dealership is a good place to start searching for your “Benz with the windows tinted.”
I know what you’re thinking. These questions are rhetorical and they’re not meant to illicit a response. Who would answer them in their head instead of letting the bassassitude flow right in. I would. I hear, “now tell me who’s your housekeeper and what you keep in your house,” and I’m inclined to refer you to a cleaning service and Value City Furniture, and, once again, the internet.
You lost another set of points because this thing is painful after a few minutes of listening to it. I am not at all on board with the words “roll out” shouted every two seconds to supplement the beat. I find it painful and distracting. Every time I hear a “roll out” belted over one of the verses, I have to actively tell my brain to ignore it and focus on the mediocre lyrics. You should know from my other reviews Ludacris, I can’t tune things out, and you should be making your music according to what will yield the best results on this blog.
Ludacris, you were spared a review that would indicate your music brought disgrace to your family because you do ask one very good question: “Now who’s that bucked-naked cook fixin’ three course meals?” That was the only part of Roll Out where I perked up and thought, I’d like to know the answer to that. If you’ve gotten an answer since 2001, Ludacris, I have some follow-ups as well.
The other good about this is song is that now if a cop pulls me over for talking on the phone while driving I can say, "Yeah, Ludacris gets to play Playstation 2 while driving, but I guess this is way worse."