K-SCORE: 7
Director: Joel Schumacher
Writer: Akiva Goldsman
Starring: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O’Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone
Spoiler Level: Minor
Batman and Robin from 1997 is so bad it’s compelling. My theory is that no one was on the same page - actors, writer, director, costumers, set designers - no one. Take the leads. Chris O’Donnell was clearly trying hard, hoping this would launch his career even though he has no acting talent. Uma Thurman, who weirdly has about fifty percent of the lines, never stepped into her Poison Ivy outfits unless she was already coked up or high on PCP. Arnold’s attitude was to use the film as an opportunity to play like a child, clearly having way more fun than anyone else, showing off his glittery Freeze teeth and sparkling head, and breaking the tinfoil set for no reason. And Clooney never registers a single emotion, never adjusts his expression, never reads a line other than completely flat as if you’re blazing through a table read just to get acquainted with the script. He doesn’t give a shit. He knew the film would be some unspeakably awful abomination from the get-go and got roped into it because Hollywood is awash with pathetic publicists and creatively-bankrupt producers. It’s probably one of the worst twenty-five movies I’ve ever seen, but so beautifully terrible I can’t look away. At one point they turn a telescope in an observatory into a gun that splatters ice onto buildings by harnessing the power of large diamonds. The batsuits (even Batgirl’s) have nipples. I strongly recommend.
