easy choice

Downsizing Government v. KBA


(Be sure to check out The Scott 200 at the bottom!)

The federal government can slim down in its operations and size by 5%, but a small agency will open up with the sole function of regulating you (the Kyle Blackburn Administration a.k.a. KBA). It’ll fall under a much larger department (Commerce maybe?), and will have a staff between 5-10 people. The KBA will provide regulation, oversight and guidance on you and your life. Do you take this deal?
— Mikey

What kind of things does this department do? 5-10 people just regulating my life?  Is their goal to restrict my personal freedoms well beyond other US citizens or is it just extreme policing?  If they are creating new Kyle regulations to restrict my actions, how does my freedom compare to that of say a federal prison inmate?

They’ll do analyses and studies to try and find ways for you to succeed. Their goal is for you to live your best life and that may require some regulation. It would probably restrict freedoms, but it’s not like someone will be following you around 24/7. Your freedom is much better than a federal prison inmate, but it could very well be reduced.
— Mikey

This hypothetical is simultaneously easy to answer and borderline impossible to answer.  What you seem to be weighing is the degree of my selflessness against my hatred for having my personal freedoms restricted, understanding somewhat my beliefs that our federal government is massive, wasteful, getting larger and more inefficient every year, and needs to be scaled back dramatically.  You could have said 1% instead of 5% and I would have agreed to this deal.  You could have said one tenth of one percent and I would have agreed to it.  

Downsizing Government v KBA.jpg

The federal government employs 2.7 million people by their own estimation and that doesn’t include members of any of the branches of our military nor does it include contractors whose sole clients are the federal government.  I’m also not factoring in state and local governments because you specified federal, but if you’re considering how many public employees our nation really has, that would add to the number considerably.  This is all in a population of some 300 million people.  The spending the federal government deemed mandatory in 2015 was marked at 2.45 trillion dollars and there was an additional 1.1 trillion discretionary, unfathomable numbers.  Keep in mind as well that 6% of that goes just to paying the interest on our national debt, several hundred billion dollars.  If you divide this spending by the number of employees in the federal government, they would each get to choose how to spend about 1.3 million dollars.  This is not a realistic figure determining anyone’s individual power, but it does give a good sense of how much in terms of power and resources this body is throwing around and it helps because, again, the numbers are difficult to wrap your mind around.  However, our politicians in the last fifty years or more seem to have collectively decided that this is not nearly enough resources for their tastes and have left the nation 20 trillion dollars in debt, which is now larger than the nation’s entire GDP.

This is in a nation where congressional approval rating is maybe 15% at any given time, only 50% of people trust the judiciary, and the celebrity game show host Republican president defeated the career Democrat dynasty empress in the last presidential election when more than 50% of voters had unfavorable views towards both candidates.  She’s gone on to have her fourth memoir in the last ten years ghostwritten, which includes a line about how she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about herself as well as a hilarious misinterpretation of the book 1984 and he’s gone on to troll the NFL for their anthem kneeling and recently mentioned in a Wall Street Journal interview that he “knows more about wedges than anyone in the world.”  The three departments of our federal government that use the bulk of these resources are Social Security, HHS, and the military.  I’ll not comment precisely on how and why the military could be scaled back, but I will add that their insistence on upgrading every facet of their armed force constantly has left a surplus of war supplies which get sold to local police and SWAT units and is largely responsible for the civil strife our citizens feel with regard to the men and women that are supposed to be domestic peacekeepers.  Under the Obama Administration HHS’s scope increased catastrophically as they removed our people’s freedom to choose not to have health insurance, while simultaneously creating a cronyist marketplace, difficult to use, socially inefficient, that above all empowers companies like United Health Care, Aetna, and Humana to jack up their prices, knowing the choices of their consumers have been forcefully limited.  Worst of all is the Social Security Administration, which is nothing more than a nation-wide pyramid scheme, failing to understand that the next generation of elderly is going to be larger than the one before it, so we can’t simply take money from one or two generations back and give it to our society’s current old population and expect long-term viability.  I also have a personal grievance against the ethics of social security since it sacrifices the well-being of the young for the well-being of the old, and I believe, societally, we should be making sacrifices for our children not having them make sacrifices for us.  Departments with lesser spending are often equally bad or worse.  You are well aware of my belief that the US Department of Education and all of its programs should be shut down.

So would I take this deal, reducing the size of this - thing - by 5%.  Yes.  Yes, I’d probably walk up to the Washington Monument with a shotgun and smear my brains across the marble to accomplish such a task.

The reason your question is also borderline impossible to answer is because the Kyle Blackburn Administration is so confusing.  5-10 people, all requiring salaries of say $30,000 yearly, expectations of benefits, health care, pensions, increased at 2-3% clip annually, and that’s all before the department’s budgetary expenses to monitor my life, run studies to see where I’ve done well in the past and where I’ve failed, and implement policy changes that dictate my future actions.  All for the societal good of believing they know what is better for me and for everyone around me than I could possibly know because they’re experts in Kyle Blackburn.  My freedoms COULD be reduced?  Are you kidding?  They’re telling me what to do and what not to do.  That’s the whole point of their existence.  What tremendous fear must one have in the thoughts and actions of others to assume they don’t know what is best for their own lives and thus must be controlled to such a degree.  And of course, even in the event that I accepted the creation of the KBA, how long before one of its members recognized the obviousness of the truth, which is that it would be far cheaper and easier to simply pay me to do nothing whatsoever.  They can sit around, I can sit around, and collectively we can all pretend that our world, our society, doesn’t actually have needs and desires that I could potentially fulfill.

THE SCOTT 200

Questions I'd need answered first:

 

About the Office of Kyle Blackburn (OKB): 

  • Under what statutory authority does the Office of Kyle Blackburn operate? 
  • Is its head an official appointed by the president and confirmed by the Senate? Are they a appointee operating an independent agency at the discretion of the President? Or are they appointed under the discretionary hiring authority of a different public official? If so, which one. 
  • Does the OKB have to comply with all parts of the Administrative Procedures Act (APA) and the Paperwork Reduction Act (PRA), including but not limited to: Office of Management of Budget (OMB) Review of Proposed Rules, Prescribed Public Comment Periods, Specific Analyses requirements as prescribed in parts 3 and 7 of APA, and Statements of Financial Impact?
  • In particular, Does the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs have central review authority over proposed regulations emerging from OKB? 
  • Is the OKB subject to FOIA? 
  • How does Congress fund the OKB? Is its funding independent of Congressional Continuing Resolutions a la the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) and the Security and Exchange Commission (SEC)? Or is the office subject to the budgetary discretion of it's department's acting head, a la the National Cancer Institute (NCI) or Administration for Child and Families (ACF)? Or is it's funding squirreled away in some budgetary black hole a la the Presidio Trust or the Election Assistance Commission (EAC)?

About the 5 percent decrease in spending:

  • Over what time frame will the decrease in spending occur? 
  • What is the baseline for these cuts? Is this spending based on current year budgetary responsibilities? Current year outlays? Baseline budget projections (as projected by the CBO)?  Expected budget projections? Or based on the last enacted Congressional budget that met the Congressional responsibilities of the Congressional Budget and Impoundment Control Act of 1974?
  • How do we measure the decrease? In raw dollar numbers? As a percent of GDP? In inflation-adjusted dollars? In an inflation adjusted basket of currencies, intent on reflecting world prices?
  • Does operationally imposing these cuts also give me fiat power to control decision making by the Fed? How about tax policy? How about legal decisions resulting from lawsuits impacted by spending decrease decisions?
  • Do I have fiat power to dictate the nature of cuts departmentally? Do I have to abide by the regulations of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and its underlying statutory authority? Do I have to comply with the American with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the 60 years of case law regarding its breadth?  How about Title XII of the Civil Rights Act? How about the Equal Pay Act?
  • Do I have to follow Congressional PayGo Budgeting Rules? Do I have to abide by previous sequestrations?
  • Do I have to comply with previously signed treaty agreements between the U.S. and allied nations - most importantly the South East Asia Treaty Organization (SEATO) and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO)?
  • To what extent can the decrease be diffused by limiting or delimiting states from certain spending areas? That is, if I, for example, descheduled marijuana, enacted rules forcing states to criminalize marijuana as a provision of receiving Medicaid funding (like we do with speed limits) and then eliminated funding for FBI drug prosecutions and federal courts, would that count as a spending decrease even though state expenses would necessarily rise to meet the new requirement, probably at a higher rate due to a lack of economies of scale?

A lot of the answers to these questions matter a ton in my final decision. I'd say the most likely outcome however is - yes, take the OKB and the 5 percent decrease.

On the one hand, the decrease will likely have almost no effect in practice because without fundamental reform to how the political system as a whole operates and a change in public expectation about what government's fundamental purpose is, you can't simply "cut government." All of the cuts will be done with accounting tricks, most likely sending outlays to budgetary years outside of whatever budget window you choose to look at.

On the other hand, the OKB will almost immediately be subject to regulatory capture by invested industries - because of its small scope far more quickly than larger bodies. And since the ultimate invested industry in the Office of Kyle Blackburn is Kyle Blackburn, it will be very easy to use the regulatory frameworks to create an organization that benefits you dramatically, probably at a relatively minor expense to the taxpayer. No matter who is in charge of the agency, they know their continued funding is necessitated by a single thing, making sure Kyle Blackburn doesn't become unhappy enough to alert congress to the organization's existence and force enough political pressure to shutter their agency and put them out of the job. That gives you incredible leverage to do what you want, and probably enables you to extract federal resources. Inevitably, the regulations that are "best" for Kyle will almost assuredly be things like, "give Kyle a $100,000 grant to self publish a novel" and "give Kyle equal opportunity by forcing publishers to read his manuscripts or making Borders and Amazon dedicate a shelf to his books."

After all, the best thing for Kyle cannot get better than "Kyle does whatever he wants, and a federal agency makes sure all of his decisions have no downside risk."

Renegade Survivalists v. Stranger Beating


You’re kidnapped by a renegade survivalist group and transported to the middle of the desert in Utah. By and large they stay in their own compound and prepare for nuclear destruction. Quality of life is decent, grow/ raise their own food, responsible for their own water and electricity, slow internet hookup though. They also take hardcore drugs and then all sleep amongst each other (60/40 ratio men to women roughly). They give you two options. Stay and live with them for 10 years. Or. They present a chained up guy to you, who you have to just beat the shit out of. You don’t know if he did anything wrong to them, or anyone. Maybe, maybe not, he could just be some guy. If you choose to beat the shit out of him, they’ll let you go. What do you do?
— Mikey

I'd beat the shit out of the guy and feel no remorse.  The crazies are responsible for the guy's wrongful or maybe rightful imprisonment and subsequent beating, not me.  Plus I have confidence I could avoid most really long term damage.

On the other hand the life in the Utah desert doesn't sound unbearable, but ten years is way too long to burn.  I could just skip the drugs, but a lot of burdens would soon fall on me as the most responsible cultist.

Lebowski v. Lebowski


If you had to be one of the characters from the Big Lebowski in this world, who would it be and why? To clarify, you are not that character in the movie, you’re that character in the world today. So if you pick Jesus Quintana (which would be a surprising choice), you like to bowl, talk a lot of sexually explicit trash and are a pederast, but you live in Ohio.
— Mikey

Jackie Treehorn.  Because Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women... man.

Lebowski v Lebowski PCV.jpg

Tax Cuts v. Spin Moves


You can decrease your tax burden by one percent at each level of government IF you are willing to hit a random stranger with a spin move every single day for that fiscal year. It has to be someone you don’t know and you can’t knowingly repeat. Do you do it?
— Mikey

Yes, I would spin move hit a stranger every day for a year to decrease the tax burden by one percent at each level.  On the one hand, of course I would just because I fully believe that the overall societal good done by getting the money out of the government's hands into the hands of the people vastly outweighs the negative of having 365 people hit by me on a random day.  We're talking about billions of dollars that people get to decide what to do with using their best judgment instead of pissing it away on wasteful or unsustainable programs probably in the military, HHS, or Social Security.  Just a 1% decrease across the board would be amazing for the well being of the nation.

On the other hand, it's valuable to analyze the cost of the spin-move.  So what are we really talking about here with regard to the hit?  Well, we're talking about basically assault, effectual or ineffectual, and with that comes a large degree of personal risk.  Even though I'm confident in my ability not to seriously hurt anyone doing some silly karate move on them, a lot could still go wrong.  If I get to choose the location and time and the stranger, then I'm even confident that I could go the whole year without winding up in prison or with a hefty fine.  If someone else is choosing, well then I'm just biting the bullet and doing some time and making America great again.  You're welcome.  But if I can choose, I'd spend hours and hours each day scouting locations and potential candidates, trying to find people with senses of humor, people who kind of expect that they might get randomly attacked and wouldn't mind, people who probably wouldn't report the crime and/or run after me, and people who suck and deserve to be spin-move hit.  I'm thinking college campuses would be a really great place to start.  You think anyone would care if I busted a frat guy in the face with a weak twirling kick?  I doubt it.  And if that started to cause problems, well then I could always attack tax accountants and small business owners and then drop a flier that says, "I saved you money, here's why!" and then run away.  They'd rub their shoulder and go, "Totally worth it.  Thank you!"

You misunderstood what I meant by “hit someone with a spin move”, though in re-reading what I wrote I totally understand why. I’m talking about if you go up to someone on the street, at the park, at a mall. etc... and spin around them, as if you’re a running back athletically avoiding a defender. This would likely create awkwardness every time you did it. Though based on the fact that you’d be willing to assault 365 people, I imagine this is no problem for you.
— Mikey

A safe assumption.