Lifestyle
“If you had to be one of the characters from the Big Lebowski in this world, who would it be and why? To clarify, you are not that character in the movie, you’re that character in the world today. So if you pick Jesus Quintana (which would be a surprising choice), you like to bowl, talk a lot of sexually explicit trash and are a pederast, but you live in Ohio.”
Jackie Treehorn. Because Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women... man.
“You have to chose between living in these two bad video game universes: 8 years in Fallout 3 or 24 hours in that game you wanted to play me to play with the lights out (forgot it’s name, but it is basically Event Horizon with more aliens in video game form.) What do you choose?”
I'm making a few assumptions in my answer that I think you'll find acceptable. 1) I'm assuming that second game is Deadspace, grotesque alien horror, really violent. Yeah. 2) I'm assuming that this is a no extra-life no save and replay situation. I die, i die. 3) I'm assuming that this is a real life representation of these worlds. Living in them as if they were reality as the developers imagined them.
That said, 24 hours in Deadspace. I'll take my chances. And let me be clear, my chances of survival are next to nothing, but if I do survive my necromorph disaster, there are parts of the Deadspace universe where life continues essentially normally. Even a high-tech enjoyable life of luxury in a futuristic society. Those are not the experiences of protagonist Isaac Clark, but I could hope that I could maneuver my way around the terrifying man-hunting alien virus and evil cultists and find a spaceship to something better. If not, 24 hours might be plausible to wait it out.
It would be far easier to survive the Fallout universe but less enjoyable to do so and not for eight fucking years. Christ, it's still a total post-apocalyptic wasteland infested with radioactive scorpions the size of buses, fire breathing ants, mutants who carry sledgehammers and say things like, "I will wear your bones around my neck," and cannibals. Something would get me eventually. And even if it didn't, life for those years would be terrible.
Plus the girls in the Deadspace universe seem more attractive. Well... at least until they sprout an extra row of teeth and tentacular razor swords from their shoulder blades.
“You have to pick five foods for you and Maisy to be restricted to eat for the rest of your lives. If you pick chicken you can have all kinds of chicken, grilled, fried, etc but a chicken and bacon club sandwich counts as more than one food. You can add all types of spices to every meal. What five foods do you pick?”
Your question is a little confusing because I'm allowed to have the foods prepared some ways but not others. For example fried chicken would need to be battered and maybe breaded. Can I have any amount of flour without flour being one of my ingredients? What about bread crumbs? If I can have bread crumbs, do I automatically get bread?
Assuming that the question is about choosing five key ingredients and discludes dessert, (with sugar, flour, cream, and eggs you can make a ton of amazing stuff) here is my list.
Chicken
Steak (which could be ground into ground beef)
Potatoes
Cheese
Lobster
With that and spices - I'd only be really really really sad... not suicidal.
“Which character from the Fifth Element would you rather hang out with? Gary Oldman’s character (is his name Zorg?) for a month straight or Ruby Rod (Chris Tucker!) on weekends for one calendar year.”
Ruby Rod on weekends. He'd get pretty annoying but I could tolerate it in short bursts and my weekends would be interesting. I'd be worried Zorg would want me to do some contract killing or off me for my general dislike of authority. Plus there's the whole "allies with a planet consuming evil" thing that might get in the way of us just casually hanging out.
Why not Lilu? I feel like the fifth element would be would be kind of into me.
“If you had to change your name to one of the names from Key & Peele’s East West Bowl, what name would it be? You can’t choose D’Marcus Williums or T.J. Juckson.”
I would choose Dan Smith - lame as that may be, do you really want your name to be a joke? If I had to choose one of the ridiculous names then I would go with either Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz because they could call me Leo and it’s a great name or I'd go with Swirvithan L'Goodling-Splatt because it’s the best. In that last case I'd request everyone calls me by my full name at all times. I would not respond to just Swirvithan.
“Choose one: You get a free, paid off house in the location of your choosing (no mortgage). No strings attached. Or: You get good season tickets (4 seats) to the team of your choice, 1 per calendar year. You also get a food & drink voucher worth $25 per game and a parking pass. You can pick a new team every year if you’d like. You can do this for life. What do you pick?”
House. I want to live by the water in peace. And even if I had the tickets, Cleveland teams would still lose. Both would be nice though.
“You can only eat ice cream or drink beer going forward in life. Which one do you choose?”
Ice cream. Assuming that you mean I have to decide between giving up ice cream forever versus giving up beer forever, but with the rest of my diet remaining unaffected, I would give up beer. I like ice cream more. Though not much more.
If you mean that I'm only allowed to consume all ice cream or all beer then I also choose ice cream. Both options would likely lead to my imminent death, but ice cream would be slower and I might survive if I was allowed to have all ranges of exotic favors. This ice cream has steak in it and green beans!
“Either Kevin Costner or Russell Crowe is your father (from birth). Which one do you pick?”
I don't know about the personalities of either man, but the just based on the movies each is in I think I have more similar tastes and sensibilities to Crowe. Also Crowe is perhaps a bit more successful, which has more tangible monetary rewards. With regard to who would be the better father, it's a toss up. They both seem like stern yet compassionate men who would encourage success from their children. At no slight to my own father, they both seem fine choices.